avidSOUND.com: BrainEatsSelf #4: The DNC

Now that the Olympics are over, the next two weeks will be spent focusing on 2 major events, events that I've never been able to make sense of; the Democratic and Republican National Conventions. Why do we need them? And so in that shoddy cynical way that bloggers have, I intend to cover them. Today the Democrats kick things off first in Denver, the way things have gone this year for the Democrats this convention promises to be one big long drawn out orgasm over how great they are because their nominee is way different than any nominee before and definitely isn't George W. Bush. So lets jump right in:

5:00 PM – The convention begins! Images of the breathtaking Colorado countryside not actually visible from downtown Denver are displayed on the big screen(s) and DNC chairman Howard Dean is introduced by an announcer lady that sounds like she's trying to be more masculine, as if she's doing the play-by-play of a 2nd tier college football game on ESPN2. Dean is immediately uninteresting in his 2 minutes on stage, but what can you expect? Its just begun, the arena is half empty and no one at home is watching.
Suddenly the DNC throws a curve ball that makes me question if this isn't the Republican National Convention instead, a female senator from Colorado takes the stage and leads the room in prayer. I immediately wonder if this is some sort of act, is this how every convention starts? Are they trying to play to the evangelical vote? Why would they do that? Evangelicals aren't watching this. Act or not I can feel from my couch 1300 miles away that the crowd in Denver isn't really into it. When that's over I get bored and decide to take a shower.

7:00 PM – Dance party! I turn on the TV and am greeted with people at the DNC dancing to some god awful music, they're way too cheery. This thing sucks so far.

8:00 PM – Nancy Pelosi takes the stage, I probably missed something but it sounds to me like Pelosi may not know where she is as she begins with, “hello Maryland, hello America!” Pelosi seems thrilled when she lists off issues and gets the crowd to say “John McCain is wrong!” along with her after each one. Her speech lasts about 10 minutes and includes a cute story about her grandson that no one really wanted to hear. Pelosi speaks about how proud she is of the Democratic congress because the truth of how they really haven't done anything since taking control wouldn't really go over at this event.

8:33 PM – Former president Jimmy Carter and his wife take the stage and then disappear, I'm confused.

9:00 PM – Hey The Closer is on! Fuck this convention.

10:20 PM Having watched what I think was an excellent episode of The Closer I turn the convention back on, Michelle Obama is scheduled to speak any moment now. Before her speech they show a film of some sort about her life. Again I am confused about this process, yes I know she is Barack Obama's wife and I know that if she is the first lady she will have the responsibility of whatever a first lady does, but I'm not voting for her, she's not running, her husband is. She could be bat shit insane and it wouldn't affect my vote, well unless it was apparent her craziness was rubbing off on him.
So far what I've gathered with the sound off is that Michelle Obama's speech is about family, as far as politics go family is so overrated, I'm not voting for the candidates family, where they came from or how they act within there family. I'm selfish, I want the person who I vote for to devote their life to the people they represent, their family is irrelevant in my world.
The rest of Obama's speech is pretty much the campaign line, nothing special to report.

And so concludes day 1 of the DNC, I know, I missed the Ted Kennedy speech but I hear it was sentimental and so probably a good thing I didn't see and write about it.